that's mrs. mediocrity to you

lights out, time for sleep, sitting here
in the dark
in the quiet

the only sound the baseball game
still playing in the bedroom as my husband sleeps
there is always a game on somewhere in the house
i don’t mind, it has become the background music of my life

sometimes i turn baseball on when i am here alone
just because it feels normal, soothing

it is late, very late, i should be asleep

but i sit here
fingers itching to write
not sure what they want to say, these fingers

but i let them talk anyway

i wish i could sit here in the dark, in the night, in the quiet

not so tired, and listen to the night
or that game or just the sound of my own breath

i wish it was that night, but instead it is a night
when i am too exhausted to go to bed

another time i will sit here

in the dark
in the quiet
in the night

i will listen

It is hot, so hot, way too hot for May, I want to go out and play,
in the sun, in my garden, and work up a really good sweat.

I want the sun to be sauna, cleanse my body, my soul, I want
to bake til I’m done to perfection.

I want to outlast the flowers that wilt in this heat, stand up tall, stretch my arms, drink the light.

I want to fill an old jar with cold lemonade, tip my head, let it run down my chin.

I want to veer off a path filled with trillium and fronds, find a spot that is dappled with shade.

I want to stand in the middle of life’s endless road and watch heat shimmer up from the pavement.

I want to pull up a chair when dusk comes to call and listen to birds say goodnight.

I want to feel the cool grass beneath my bare feet and watch as the fireflies frolic.

I want to count the planets, say their names one by one, and call them home like children.

I want to howl at the moon just because it is there and and seems to be begging for silence.

I want to lay down my head, sleep the sleep of the dead, when my body just aches with exhaustion.

I want to wake in the morning with sun in my eyes, all shadow removed from the room.

It is hot, so hot, way too hot for May,

I want to walk to the edge of the ocean.