::
What have you let go of this year and how has it affected you?
::
it’s not so much
what i let go of
as it is
what i started
reaching for.
::
:
::
Tell us about one moment that you lived in 2011 that you will never forget.
::
In amongst the chaos, it was a year filled with snatched moments. Breathing them in the way I would if I had just run six miles and was gasping for breath.
Appreciating them all the more for the way they filled my desperate mind with bits and pieces of beautiful.
In general, I share those moments of beauty here, but there was one that I didn’t, mainly because it was impossible to photograph.
In August we went to the Adirondack mountains to camp at one of our favorite lakes, one that is a favorite because it is small and because it feels like home.
And after we had been there for a day and half, the park ranger came by to tell us that we had to leave the next day, that all the parks in the mountains were being closed because of Hurricane Irene.
As he said this, there was not a cloud in the sky.
That night, we made a roaring campfire, the way we always do, and we made s’mores, the way we always do, and we wished we didn’t have to pack things up so soon.
Later, we walked down to the lake, to say goodbye.
No one was at the beach, it was quite late. Technically, I suppose we weren’t supposed to be there, either.
But what a sight.
The lake was perfectly calm, and in it, a million stars reflected back at themselves.
If it weren’t for the slightly darker silhouette of the mountains ringing the lake, it would have been impossible to tell where the sky ended and the lake began. A tiny crescent moon hung low in the sky, smiling back up at us from the water.
We all stood there for minutes that felt like hours, just soaking it in.
It was the kind if moment that I knew I could never photograph well enough, or describe well enough, to convey its magic.
But now, when I close my eyes, I can still see it.
I am there. On that beach, surrounded by darkness that is not dark but glittering, loons calling out love songs in the distance, and mountains looming as sentinels in the background, strong and silent and unseen.
I am there breathing in.
And I am smiling.
:
::
If you could choose one thing that your children
will do or experience in a different way than you have,
what would it be and why?
::
life.
::
each one as unique,
individual,
magical,
as a snowflake.
::
:
::
One Word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing
that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word
to be that captures 2012 for you?
::
Oh, this one is easy. That word, the one that best encapsulates 2011, would be chaos.
Somehow, I never got ahead of myself this year. I was always one step behind, always scrambling to catch up. I raced through this year with one eye on the clock and one leg out the door. I stood in my studio and spun around in circles, never quite reaching an edge.
My house has been a mess, all year. I was supposed to lose ten pounds, all year. My garden was a shambles, no, my garden was the definition of chaos, all year. Half of the things I planned to accomplish are still scattered about on the floor of my mind.
2011 was the year of not getting things done.
And yet.
I worked really hard, all year. And considered it a blessing. (Except for the times I complained about how overwhelmed I was, which okay, may have been every day.)
I fed a chickadee, and a nuthatch, and a titmouse out of my hand.
I hurt my knee, had surgery to repair it, and ran again. Also a blessing.
I wrote a lot of poetry and every so often, my heart clicked back into place.
I created and created and created.
I spent a lot of time with a camera growing out of my face.
I looked for tiny bits and pieces of beauty, and I found them, everywhere I looked.
I smiled more. I sought out the things that make me smile. I became easily amused. (It’s not so hard, you should try it.)
I spent an afternoon with my windmills.
I worked really hard, all year. And considered it a blessing.
I took care of my parents. I made lots of soup. I went to my mountains, twice.
I cried about shootings and earthquakes and abuse and intolerance and droughts and floods. And a cat that broke my heart.
When I could, I smiled through my tears.
I learned new things every day. About life, about myself, about the people that I love.
I read several amazing books.
I found a lot of hearts.
Did I say I worked really hard, all year? And considered it a blessing.
And after about 10 months, I opened my arms wide and I embraced the chaos. Gave it a big ol’ bear hug. Welcomed it into my life.
Because secretly, I know how bored I would be without it.
::
I went back and looked up the word I chose last year, the word that encapsulated 2010 and then the word that I wanted to bring with me into 2011. The word I chose, for both, was crazy.
I think I did good, don’t you?
::
And now I’m supposed to choose a word for next year. One to set the tone, to capture what I want 2012 to be all about. I’m a little nervous, considering that I was right on the money with last year’s.
So I’m going to go ahead and choose a word that I know I can handle.
::
Words.
::
And there you have it.
:
