that's mrs. mediocrity to you

It was a month of snow angels and outdoor picnics, getting things done and doing absolutely nothing, taking care of business and escaping into books. Red was the flavor, and quiet was the color. It was a month of letting life flow at its own pace, I didn’t fight any of it, never once did I swim against the current, I just let it carry me wherever it was headed. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that, and it was good.

January was a month of settling in, to life at 50, to life in 2013, to life in a world we have yet to catch up with.

Soon, I suppose, busy will be stopping by for a visit, she never likes to stay away for long. I’ll make her some tea and we’ll sit for a chat and she’ll mention that she’s planning to stay for a spell. I won’t be surprised or upset, I will simply say yes and turn away to bake her some cookies. Snickerdoodles, in fact. Because you can’t say snickerdoodles without smiling, and besides, they are delicious.

But I can’t help but wish that January could stay just a little bit longer, so I could sit here and stare out this window at the birds, at all the wonder, at the dancing snowflakes that have just started to fall from the sky, despite the fact that just yesterday, the temperature peaked at 65.

I hear February tapping on the glass, too short to be seen, but just tall enough to reach a bony finger up and make her presence known. She likes to be all dark in her grey robes and bitter nights, but it’s hard to take someone so small very seriously. Still, I will sit with her tomorrow, build her a fire and bring her some flowers, just because she is here.

And I won’t tell her how much I miss January, for it would never do to make her jealous.

She has quite the temper, that one, don’t be fooled by the hearts and the chocolates.

But don’t worry, either, for she is no match for March and its promises of flowers.

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let’s see

where we

end up

.

and why would it be, really
we have cool blues for that,
dark midnights and
periwinkle fields to float upon

but it’s winter
give me some vermilion
a scarf of scarlet, or crimson,
lipstick stain on landscape grey

singing loud and unafraid
nevermind who’s looking,
or who knows you’ve been here,
never let them turn away

It just keeps snowing.

We shovel and plow, dig out the woodpile, the mailbox, the bird feeders, paths for the dog and the naughty kitten.

And then we do it all again.

We rake the roof because the spot that always leaks, the spot we had fixed again last year, is leaking again, onto the new kitchen floor that I fixed because I thought we’d finally solved the problem.

We snuggle up under this blanket of white, enjoying the hush that only comes from snow. The birds are hungry, the feeders busy hubs of red and blue, gray and gold, black and white. Yesterday, a red-bellied woodpecker joined the gang, I haven’t seen him in a while.

Life is January simple. A cycle that repeats itself over and over, driven by Mother Nature and Old Man Winter. I see them out there, working together, trying to clean things up, set things right, add some beauty to this battle-scarred world.

Never mind that one day it will all melt into sludge and mud. Never mind that your back gets sore from clearing it all away. Never mind the water dripping in the kitchen.

Put your boots on and step outside and listen.

Inhale.

You can hear a snowflake land. You can smell the clean of this comforter.

A red cardinal lands on a branch and you can see the heart of winter.

It just keeps snowing.

snow piled on snow
white on white
grey on grey
an exclamation point
of black

silence falls from the sky
and blankets
this earth
this house
this garden

my shoulders

.

i stand

arms outstretched

palms up

gathering crystals that melt
at my touch

ice queen midas

the opposite of gold

yet somehow
i feel

so rich

In thinking about what lesson really jumped out at me this past year, the word that kept popping into my mind was dance. And I don’t mean I took dance lessons, I mean, I danced.

Oh there were other lessons, I learned that discarding is a beautiful thing, that time is more valuable than money, that space, empty space, doesn’t always need to filled. I learned how to let go and how to hold on, how to be strong and how to be open, the importance of forgiveness and the impossibility of tomorrow. I learned that I still have so very much to learn.

But mostly, I danced.

Beneath the moon and out in the sun, while I washed dishes and vacuumed the floor, in my mind and in my heart and everywhere I went, I danced. With trees and flowers, birds and butterflies, snowflakes and smiles.

I danced while I worked, I danced while I ran, I danced while planting tiny seedlings.

I twirled and turned, bent and dipped, waltzed and two-stepped. (I even kicked and stretched like Sally O’Malley in the parking lot of the mall to make my mom and sister laugh – but that’s a whole different story.)

In the fall, after I had been sick with the flu and stuck inside forever, I went to walk with my husband and son one day while they golfed. And way across on the other side of the course, I spotted this dancing leaf girl, some crazy vine gone wild in the untended edge of the rough.

She’d been out there the whole time, holding my place.

And then I knew that I was just exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment, beneath that endless bowl of sky, pirouetting in the golden glint of sun.

I danced all the way home.

I’m dancing, still.

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::

Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
What lesson really jumped out at you this year? How can you cultivate that lesson going forward?

What was your dream destination in 2012 and why? ?

::

pink raspberry rhyme of sky
in a slice of winter window
pie-faced and pretty
and asking nothing
in return

no one ever said
a clean slate
was required
to be grey

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Linking up today with the fabulous dVerse poets for Open Link Night, join us!

with words and music

flowers and friends

life and death

hope and folly

in pretty skirts

and ragged pajamas

barefoot and high-heeled

through sun and rain

wind and drought

in a forest of birds

and a flight of trees

with the moon at midnight

a blushing sun at dawn

holding snowflakes on my tongue

and sweat trickling down my spine

with one foot tapping happiness

and the other marking sadness

alone in the dark

together in the light

always

with one hand waving free

i danced

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::

Cultivate 2012:
What did you set out to accomplish this year?
What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life?

::

She lifted her face
to the moon
and sang the song
of soon be gone.

I stood before her
in a shivery bath
of shimmering light
as clouds rolled past
the face of night.

the sun always rises. you can pretend not to see it,
but even behind the blackest clouds, it is there.

if you aspire to excel at one thing, make it forgiveness.

all the things you’re going to do someday don’t exist.

every day, every dawn, is a gift. open it slowly,
savor the anticipation, play with the wrappings.

there is no better dance partner than the moon.

forward is the only direction.

build a house of hope and love, and you will
never need to fill it with things.

perfection is a burden best discarded.

be grateful, ever-so-grateful, for every breath you take.

your 737th kiss will be just as memorable as
your first, as long as you are paying attention.

an embrace is the best way to hold on.

doing nothing at all is the best form of busy.

sadness weighs the opposite of happiness,
and we need both to keep us grounded.

you can paint a picture with far less than 1000 words.

mother nature is the original caretaker of wonder.

never take anything for granted. however,
you will take everything for granted.

the caged bird sings because it sees that life goes on.

your heart is always your best feature.

there will never be enough time for anything,
but you can make time for what’s important.

laughter is the music of your soul.

tea is the elixir of life.

if what you really want to do is fly,
well, now, just look at all that sky.

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.p.s. the link party will be open until friday, feel free to join in at anytime!

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