cabin fever
it was your dream and it shouldn’t
have been in my head but there it was
all memory and miniseries
claiming sleep in a gold rush
of measure
the audience laughed when i landed
and i thought perhaps i was dead
but you took my hand and lifted
til i stood three feet taller
than the mountain you sang
and could see each grey hair
on your head
in the hallway air-brushed footsteps
creaked out their endless
time-frame pattern
step here miss there hush now
tiptoe past the door of dragon
and the wind came howling
through the crack
in my window glass scar
left behind on a night when i dreamt
of forgetting and clambered to follow
the pale scratched trail
of prints in the snow beneath me
.
.
.
January 31st, 2015 at 11:04 am
the mountain you sang….that line plays beautifully in there….giving strength after helping you stand tall…
January 31st, 2015 at 5:59 pm
This just begs to be read aloud.. the rhythm and images of that cabin with the wind and the snow.. sounds both romantic and a little bit dangerous in a Jack London way..
January 31st, 2015 at 6:15 pm
Such lovely imagery, and that final stanza is superb! A beautiful piece.
January 31st, 2015 at 6:22 pm
I specially like this part:
in the hallway air-brushed footsteps
creaked out their endless
time-frame pattern
and this:
and the wind came howling
through the crack
in my window glass scar
This is a creative slant to the winter fever ~
January 31st, 2015 at 6:38 pm
I like the idea of dreaming of forgetting….sometime that is the best outcome…
January 31st, 2015 at 7:36 pm
This stanza:
‘in the hallway air-brushed footsteps
creaked out their endless
time-frame pattern
step here miss there hush now
tiptoe past the door of dragon’
is wondrous.
January 31st, 2015 at 7:44 pm
Something about this touched a memory in me and the “you” in the poem was my wonderful grandfather and his cabin in the Sierra Nevada and his care of me when I was a child.
January 31st, 2015 at 7:56 pm
I enjoyed the scene you described. The last stanza is my favorite.
January 31st, 2015 at 8:18 pm
This was a wonderful read. Read aloud, it was rhythmical and magical.
January 31st, 2015 at 9:38 pm
A superb piece, really; full of fresh perceptions, mystery; poetics without a road map, a full league from the prose poems I conjure up. I am curious about the dragon’s room, for sure.
January 31st, 2015 at 10:09 pm
The diction here is so beautiful it hurts. The phrasing is melodic and menacing (like winter). This is the kind of poem we dream of finding; why we keep searching through the words at all.
February 1st, 2015 at 2:07 am
very mystical – I’d like to hear the backstory on this.
February 1st, 2015 at 2:21 am
The first stanza took me in one direction – a very personal statement – and then the rest of the poem has the strange, slightly surreal quality of a fevered dream…
February 1st, 2015 at 5:12 am
Delightful.. There is loads to admire and enjoy here though, the early line:
“claiming sleep in a gold rush
of measure”
Is my absolute favourite. Thanks for this treat, JO With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
February 1st, 2015 at 6:01 am
this sounds like a wonderful journey somewhere deeper and it’s written in such a magical way…
February 1st, 2015 at 3:06 pm
I can picture an older person, a hermit, walking out of their cabin for the first time in years, and taking in all of the world’s glamour in one fell swoop. Great little story!
February 3rd, 2015 at 9:24 pm
yes, yes, and yes…
February 4th, 2015 at 2:14 am
hypnotic ~