a shot in the dark
It’s been a week of up before dawn and in bed long after dusk. A week of work and work and work and taking care of the business of life. A week much like any other when it comes right down to it.
Winter holds us in its darkness, frigid cold, frozen. We build fires and bundle up and complain. Being able to complain is the blessing, though one that hides itself in bitter words and false lament.
In between all this work and this complaining and this living, I write.
Like a fool that cannot stop herself, I give up sleep and precious hours in exchange for words. Words that slide from my fingers just as clearly as if they’d been spoken.
Words that light up the night, keep me company, guide me along the dark corridor of February.
That’s what writing always is, isn’t it? A shot in the dark.
And you never stop being afraid that you’ll miss, or even worse, you’ll hit an artery, a vital organ.
But laying down your weapon is never an option. Surrender only comes when the words have filled the page.
And there is always another page, always words pressing down on some inner, bleeding wound. The perfect bandage.
It’s cold and it’s dark and I let the words flow. Even when I’m not writing, they course through my mind in tune with the beat of my heart.
My telltale heart. Always, I let it speak.
I listen to the whispers.
You never know what ghosts they will reveal.
February 13th, 2014 at 7:58 am
when i stop being afraid, i will have stopped caring…and then it will be time for me to put words to rest…keep listening…
February 13th, 2014 at 8:21 am
This resonates with me, I’ve had the same kind of week except with less writing.
February 13th, 2014 at 8:45 am
“And there is always another page, always words pressing down on some inner, bleeding wound. The perfect bandage.”
nodding my way through this, though it is warmer here and i am working not as much, i stopped at that. the perfect bandage. my god, but you are good.
better than good. dr. kelly. perfect.
February 13th, 2014 at 10:34 am
…That’s what writing always is, isn’t it? A shot in the dark…
Always, I let it speak.
I lack the courage to write my thoughts. Emmatree and you write your heart, your soul. I listen… and am grateful.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:10 am
writing really is a shot in the dark….i love that!!!
February 13th, 2014 at 4:20 pm
Oh yes, those whispers and the writing.
February 14th, 2014 at 12:18 pm
you are always such an inspiration.
February 17th, 2014 at 2:26 pm
This is how I have been lately, although all my words are fiction, so no one will read them for some time to come, which makes me feel like I am shouting into a void. But even when I put the pen down, I am still writing the story in my head, building sentences one word at a time while I talk to my husband, watch a movie, eat dinner. I can’t fall asleep at night because the story is still unraveling, so I take a voice recorder to bed with me and mumble to it in the dark for hours. Because it is a story I need to tell, and I cannot let it go until it is done.