last night i lay awake
and listened to the world
you were all there in scattered whisper
muted sob and rippled
memory
bells of heartache mixed with song
your joy and his sorrow
her hope and your disease
i remember thinking
this is what it’s like to be dead
not the silence i’d expected
but the everything
i’d never imagined
each sound was music
even the bitter tones and
burned out symphonies
i was the stage and you the actor
or you were the curtain and i
the applause
and everywhere
the stars kept dropping
each one a tiny hiss
upon my skin
.
.
.
.
July 16th, 2013 at 9:09 am
well now that was rather haunting….all the music…even the bitter tones…you the stage they the actor…love that section…and the stars hissing on the skin..great close..
July 16th, 2013 at 9:18 am
soooo beautiful. Thank you. you truly have a poets heart
July 16th, 2013 at 10:37 am
Despite the presence of sob and sorrow, this reads as all joy and complete being. It is perfect night reading, right before the light goes out.
July 16th, 2013 at 10:41 am
This is an exceptional piece. I love the feel as Brian said, “haunting” it is haunting and soothing for me at the same time. Very powerful and moving, excellent!
July 16th, 2013 at 10:46 am
beautiful.
July 16th, 2013 at 11:53 am
i was the stage and you the actor
or you were the curtain and i
the applause
and everywhere
the stars kept dropping…..loved this…….
July 16th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
I liked the private communion of yourself and the rest of the world. Yes, sometimes its just the two of you. Great writing.
July 16th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
Wow, emotionally haunting.
July 16th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Great poem. Rich textures. Love the tiny hiss of stars on your skin.
July 16th, 2013 at 3:07 pm
“Bells of heartache mixed with song” — yes, I can picture this. Your poem IS an interesting speculation on what it would be like to be dead.
July 16th, 2013 at 3:13 pm
I love this – “not the silence i’d expected/but the everything/i’d never imagined” as well as the use of stage/actor/curtain/applause!
July 16th, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Beautiful – loved the final lines especially. K
July 16th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
simply magical..
July 16th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Wow, this one broke through my reserve and my skin. Felt like you (or I) were taking the whole weight of the world upon us.
July 16th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
I love how it starts in sadness but gradually change to hope or solace… and the end is just great. with dropping stars like kisses.
July 16th, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Absolutely love this! I want to say more, but it’s stunned me…perfect I’d say!
July 16th, 2013 at 4:48 pm
This was very sad but quite lovely.>KB
July 16th, 2013 at 4:51 pm
A captivating poem mixed with magic, Kelly.
Pamela
July 16th, 2013 at 6:23 pm
This seems to capture all those feeling that accompany the end of the day when memories, news reports, television, phone calls, family incidents all compress into an emotion as heavy as gravity that becomes an emptiness that fills the ear with the saddest songs ever sung. Beautiful and resonant!
July 16th, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Wow…just such a great write.
July 16th, 2013 at 9:24 pm
but the everything
i’d never imagined
What a clever, clever line! The first line makes me feel happy and the either/”I”ther part is playful to me. It’s a poem to read twice and think about!
July 16th, 2013 at 9:35 pm
Rather dark write (my fav kind of poetry ;]). What death is like… Something I ponder, yet don’t want know until I’m at least 150… the bitter tones.. The sorrow … joy… all of what we’re quite unsure of: will we truly be missed? Find happiness in heaven? Really makes you think…
July 16th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
Beyond gorgeous.
July 16th, 2013 at 10:56 pm
Absolutely stunning!
July 16th, 2013 at 10:57 pm
each one a tiny hiss . . . what a staggering parting shot to be penetrated by and it REALLY does pierce the veneer in an electric sense of the poetic imho.
even the bitter tones and
burned out symphonies
this extract sent my mind right out onto the cusp of it all as I could smell and hear the work blowing smoke signals into my night light.
a deep seed it plants, then waters to grow on reflection.
July 16th, 2013 at 11:10 pm
the staging of death is an odd last memory, actually, and you capture it so well–right down to the stars falling as the world caves in.
July 17th, 2013 at 1:11 am
Beautifully written ~ I thought this part was really stunning:
i was the stage and you the actor
or you were the curtain and i
the applause
July 17th, 2013 at 6:17 am
Beautiful!
July 17th, 2013 at 9:43 am
An invitation to contemplation and reflection. Thoughtful and artful all at once. Very fine job.
SK
July 17th, 2013 at 11:12 am
What everyone else said! Wonderful, Kelly
July 17th, 2013 at 11:18 am
In the silence, when we allow the inner noise to cease, is when we hear the heartbeat, feel the pulse and allow change to begin. At first it may sound and feel hollow, but beyond that awaits the grace we dream of! Well written.
July 17th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Fantastic close here, Kelly–and the whole surreal and evocative dream state where consciousness expands and identity shrinks/metamorphosizes, is done with clarity and perfect language. (I think I made up ‘metamorphosize’ but you get it.)
July 17th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
It is a death of sorts, to be silent, simply listen, remove your self from the sounds of the earth. To me this reads like a beautiful meditation.
July 17th, 2013 at 1:44 pm
Gorgeous and that ending is brilliant. I could see and hear the tiny hiss
July 17th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
oh the many and varied things that flow through our thoughts as we lie awake in our beds…
“each sound was music
even the bitter tones and
burned out symphonies”
this part really hit me
July 17th, 2013 at 3:14 pm
….and everywhere
the stars kept dropping…
This is beautiful, beginning to end.
July 17th, 2013 at 8:24 pm
…to be dead in silence & just let the furtive psalms of remembering dance in your ear… i only hope you hear beauty & not the horror of a painful past… i loved this… smiles…
July 18th, 2013 at 11:11 am
this was simply… beautiful