grey is my favorite color
Well, if I were February, it would be. Instead, I find color where I can, strewn about the house in bits of glass and fabric. Tulips from the grocery store. Eggs with a rainbow of peppers for breakfast.
Magic is the word I chose for 2013, reading is the word that’s chosen me. And everywhere I go, it’s quiet.
Our oldest cat is fading away and I watch her fighting. I think about life, and death, and everything in between. We make her a fire every night, and feed her all the tuna she wants, and give her lots of extra love.
The other night I broke out the afghan I’ve been working on for something like three years now… I only have a few rows to go, and it feels like it’s time to finally finish it.
Sometimes, endings come when you’re least expecting them. Sometimes, even though you know they are coming, it’s hard to look them in the eye.
The book I’m reading now is going to be hard to let go of. Fremont by Elizabeth Reeder. It’s filled with beginnings and magic and the trials of life. And, of course, endings.
And I’m in love with it.
This book. This grey sky, this grey cat, this life.
Every small, silent moment.
February 7th, 2013 at 9:09 am
A wonderfully concise and focused essay that retains a “poetic” essence. In its spareness, it conveys so much.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:00 am
There is a beauty in quiet, dignified grey – even if it means finding colour within it when it threatens to engulf us.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:07 am
Normally, February grey is heavy for me but after reading, I feel a liking for the days. Thanks for that, a grey gift.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:44 am
Sometimes, when color isn’t abundantly vibrant, we appreicate the small times it presents itself.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:52 am
i think endings come often when we least expect them…sad on your cat…as you prob remember we lost ours around christmas…grey can not be bad you know….
February 7th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
It is always sad when our loved cats fade away. I am glad you are finding color in the grey.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Somehow gray is not always bad for me–there is a quietness to it, a deepening–I am sorry for your impending loss though—hugs to you
February 7th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
We never get used to the cycle of life’s comings and passings; no matter how often we live through this grey season. Each gives us new gifts, along with new grief. You see the silence beyond the cycle; that is a nice place to live.
February 7th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
my 2013 word is stretch. in as many new directions as i can. i am sorry for the ‘winter’ of your cats life. endings can be most painful, and definitely grey.
in fond thoughts. tilda
February 7th, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Yes. This is true and hard and beautiful and awesome and sad all at once. Like life. <3
February 7th, 2013 at 6:23 pm
those small, silent moments are what make me happiest right now. reading your words~ always one of those moments.
bless the fading kitty. xoxo
February 8th, 2013 at 12:20 am
love your thoughtful voice in this…the everyday…the small things…beginning and endings interwoven and yeah..often they come unexpected…i too get very color hungry in february but love how big the promise is as well in this month
February 8th, 2013 at 8:38 am
did you feel symbolic yesterday?
February 8th, 2013 at 8:39 am
if you knew a picasso…
February 8th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
So much beauty, pain and heartache … just like life. Sweet sweet strokes for your kitty.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Ending can definitely be hard to look in the eye, hope there’s magic and reading abound in this time of grey.
February 14th, 2013 at 6:46 pm
Oh Kelly…this brought tears to me eyes. Right before I headed to Mexico I had to put down my little friend of 12 years. Oh how we get so attached to them. I have no children so she was my child. I haven’t been able to write about her yet…but your post compelled me to comment. My heart is with you…