that's mrs. mediocrity to you

Time marks its own passing on all of our faces.

This year, my father turned 75, my mother turned 70, and both my husband and I turned 50. It was a milestone year when it comes to time, recorded with pictures and parties and trips and love.

I gave myself the gift of more time this year, cutting the number of jewelry shows we did in half, giving me more hours to spend outside in my garden, one of my favorite places to be.

I also made friends with time. I stopped fighting it, racing it, cursing it, and I started embracing it.

It is, after all, not time’s fault that we cannot bottle it and save it up for later, not time’s fault that gravity wins and bones grow brittle. Not time’s fault that we do too much and relax too little.

So did I spend my time wisely this year? Absolutely.

I celebrated every breath I took, every sunrise I saw, every midnight moon that called me outside. I saw the most amazing comet sear across the sky as I sat shivering beneath a quilt, I ran seven miles for the first time in two years one hot summer day, I started flowers from seed and watched them cycle through life.

There were family parties and quiet dinners, summer picnics and holiday feasts. Toasts were made and hugs were given.

We don’t spend time the way we spend money, we can’t bank it or save it or even give it away. We take what we get and then it is gone, and we are changed forever by the stamp of each passing moment.

Time moves through us, weaving its own plaids and patterns, creating an endless swath of fabric that waves in the breeze of who we are.

Fluttering, ever so slightly with each inhale, exhale, inhale.

Time is life.

::

Somehow, at my birthday party, we failed to take a photo of me and my parents together. So my mom asked if she and my dad could stop by on my birthday to record the moment. I detest having my picture taken, and never, ever like photos of myself. But I have to say, I don’t hate this one, and I am posting it here as a surprise for my mom.

And yes, I am in my pajamas. I could have changed, but somehow, this seemed just right.

.

.

::

Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
Did you spend your time wisely this year?

::

“I’d rather explore life on my own and get lost a thousand times than follow someone else’s beautifully landscaped path.”

One of my own facebook quips, after a day that felt like everyone in the world was telling me the best path in life, seemingly claiming to have all the answers.

I’ve always walked the path less traveled, always been on the outside looking in, always fallen just shy of fitting into any group, or being in any loop. It has never been about answers for me, but always, the questions.

And the questions can only be found by living them, getting dirt under your nails and scrapes on your knees, tripping blindly through the dark on the way to nowhere, wandering alone and lost in a wilderness of possibility.

Do I ever get lonely? Sometimes. Though probably not as often as I should.

Do I reach out to take an offered hand when I stumble and fall down? Absolutely. And if, by chance, there is no one there to offer that hand, I get up anyway, and keep on walking.

Mystery and wonder are always there to greet me, one on either side.

The path of the introvert is the path that’s chosen me.

The path of wonderfully, magically always just a little bit lost is the path that I have chosen.

And despite the drawbacks, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besides, I couldn’t find my way out of here if I tried.

.

.

.

::

Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
Sometimes the best path chooses you. — Patrick Rhone

What path chose you this year??

::

with words and music

flowers and friends

life and death

hope and folly

in pretty skirts

and ragged pajamas

barefoot and high-heeled

through sun and rain

wind and drought

in a forest of birds

and a flight of trees

with the moon at midnight

a blushing sun at dawn

holding snowflakes on my tongue

and sweat trickling down my spine

with one foot tapping happiness

and the other marking sadness

alone in the dark

together in the light

always

with one hand waving free

i danced

.

.

.

::

Cultivate 2012:
What did you set out to accomplish this year?
What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life?

::