the last straw
is always the one
no one’s expecting
always tiny
and full of
…….other
…….possibilities
…….and the burden
…….of its own dead weight
…….i pretend my back
…….is stronger than
…….this mess you’ve left
…….in the kitchen
…….dirty dishes,
…….muddy tracks,
…….a trail
…….of crumbs
…….leading to
…….the places you’ve
…….always
…….kept secret
…….and i could follow
…….if i wanted
…….solve the puzzle
…….work my way up
…….to the big
…………reveal
…………but instead
…………i gather up sponge
…………and broom and
…………this tired old
…………dustpan
…………and whistle
…………as i work
…….and when
…….the job is finished
…………and my floor is
…………clean
…………but my hands
…………are dirty
…………then
……………..and only then
……………..i call your name
.
.
.
Linking up with the fabulous dVerse poets for Open Link Night, join us!
June 12th, 2012 at 9:18 am
you leave me speechless, every time, with your mad talent with words.
when are you publishing your collection, mrs. m?
June 12th, 2012 at 9:30 am
I’ve read this at least six times, mesmerized by the mystery, searching to see if the back breaks.
June 12th, 2012 at 11:13 am
Your nest, the unnamed antagonist’s mess.
This one gave me a clutch in the throat at the end, Kelly. NOT a Father’s Day bouquet, I see. 😉
Very arresting piece that only a woman could write. A woman with your talent! 🙂 xo
~ j
June 12th, 2012 at 1:41 pm
it is amazing, often, what the last straw is.
sometimes something small as you penned. often, the small. backs take a lot, sometimes. but straws can break the back. others should be wary of the smallest detail, the one that…..
thoughtful write. penetrating.
in fondest of thought today.
tilda
June 12th, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Wonderful poetry….much enjoyed… 🙂
June 12th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Your words move me…hit me straight in the heart!
June 12th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
When I see messes like this, it makes me know I’m not alone. Easier to take that way ~
Awesome, as ever, you are.
June 12th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
OK…lets get this out the way… I love your writing style… I LOVE your observations…. I LOVE your themes, and how you drag the ordinary grit of the everyday into REAL LIFE. this poem is just so cool… I mean…it smoulders…has some real bite… I loved how there was the clean up before the consequences…made me feel sorry for whoever’s name was being called!
and when
the job is finished
and my floor is
clean
but my hands
are dirty
then
and only then
I call your name
Oof…this smashed it!
June 12th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
It is so true, a woman’s work is never done and, most times hardly ever thanked either.
Fabulous piece from you once again!
June 12th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
for me i call that time to cool off before i call that name…smiles…welcome to summer…by the time i get my boys trained it will be back to school…smiles..
June 12th, 2012 at 3:41 pm
This is an interesting one–definitely took a turn I wasn’t expecting–a great metaphor, and the idea that mess and clutter (physical or otherwise) are left to delay and mislead, to keep one away, occupied–but that it’s also one’s own choice to focus on the clean up–pretty cool. The whole thing really works well.
June 12th, 2012 at 3:45 pm
I am consistently amazed by your ability to pack so much emotive TNT into small packages. Thanks for the book recommendation – I’d heard about it but now its on my Kindle :).
June 12th, 2012 at 3:56 pm
This is simply awesome in it’s crafty realness. How did you know it was me left the mess??
June 12th, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Damn. Heavy words that leaves one wanting to read it all again.
June 12th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
A fabulous poem. I think this is the best openlink poem you’ve posted in quite a long time. The slow burn in the words is great, the allusion to the hidden place also wonderful. The ending is perfect.
June 12th, 2012 at 4:46 pm
A wife’s song, long-suffering,realizing that all the time in the world together doesn’t reveal the inner heart of a boy grown to man. There are passions and secrets never revealed and habits of a lifetime (sigh) never broken. Cunningly simple write with a truth wrapped in an enigma inside.
June 12th, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Wonderful piece–I love reading your work–
June 12th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Great – loved the surprise at this ending. Also love how you don’t follow the crumbs (which would be ignoble) and you clean the mess (noble). Wonderful!
June 12th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Ker-blam! Wow, I needed this one this week. Thank you. I love you with all my heart. XO –E
June 12th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Messes especially kitchen ones are not well taken by me either! I believe everyone should help cook & clean at meal times ~ it takes a village! But then I know sometimes we need to look beyond the immediate & protect our own solitude
& peace! 🙂 powerful writing using few words to deliver a punch at the ending.
I wonder why the kitchen was left in a mess ~ curious to know more of the story!
June 12th, 2012 at 8:53 pm
When the last straw comes it does usually come in some little thing, after some big things, and yeah blah to the mess, wouldn’t work with my ocd..haha
June 12th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Like the simplicity of the everyday chore, but you packed it with a lot of emotions and dead weight ~
Unique and wonderful style ~
June 12th, 2012 at 9:56 pm
The effort is nothing compared to the peaceful moments. Beautiful work.
June 12th, 2012 at 10:38 pm
I. LOVE. THIS. You should get it published. I see a whole chapbook forming based on this one piece…
June 13th, 2012 at 12:28 am
Feeling the resignation … and love
June 13th, 2012 at 1:23 am
I was already anticipating, from the title, what the ‘last straw’ would be, and you stretch it out well, until at the end the narrator can stand it no longer – the camel’s back breaks – and calls out the name.
June 13th, 2012 at 8:29 am
I love the idea of a trail of debris…real.
June 13th, 2012 at 8:36 am
This is a pleasure to read and re-read. I guess it’s a good thing that backs can be broad and endure the weight of many straws. This is a favorite of yours for me. Outstanding composition and rhythm all the way through, energized by a great idea.
June 13th, 2012 at 11:34 am
Yep.
I believe I was living this yesterday… or was it the day before… or today… or?
🙂
June 13th, 2012 at 11:56 am
you have just no idea how much i can identify with this…think that’s one of my favs by you..
June 13th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Really love this one Kelly . . . simply perfect.
June 13th, 2012 at 5:46 pm
A lot of fun here (for the reader) but also a bit ominous (for the crumb-dropper.) Well done. k.
June 13th, 2012 at 6:10 pm
The floor is clean but my hands are dirty… brilliant, love this piece!
June 13th, 2012 at 6:55 pm
I hear this one before. I am not sure whether it is a child or a significant other involved here, but I really do love the way you handled it. You are a better person than I! I really loved the opening, the easy but right on way you define the “last straw”! Great stuff indeed.
June 15th, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I really enjoyed the style of this poem. It was truly meant to be read aloud, which I did twice. I love the picture you created.
June 19th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Brilliantly written piece! Love the way Open Link Night always brings me to some fresh, fantastic talent. Thank you for sharing.