yesterday morning
i watched a seagull fly over a field of snow
and the word metaphor flashed through my mind
though i refused to take it any further
because all i really wanted to do was watch it fly.
by mid-afternoon the sun had melted all the snow
into a watershed running through my fingers
down over my toes and i thought that perhaps
i had imagined that shadow of white on white,
sun glinting off wings built for shores less frozen
but then (of course) i found a feather in my hair
that i am certain was as black as any raven’s
and the wind tore it from my grasp precisely
at that perfect, beautiful moment when
i recognized the color of hunger.
.
.
.
this post is part of dVerse poets Open Link Night, join us!
February 28th, 2012 at 8:03 am
That black raven’s feather and hunger – such evocative..perfect metaphors!
February 28th, 2012 at 8:19 am
I can dance with this.
February 28th, 2012 at 8:44 am
Such a perfect finish to this. The photograph mirrors the color and shape of the words.
February 28th, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Again… you’re so eye-opening good.
I really like this. The ravens feather, the icy shore — yay! 5 thumbs up… you know, if I had 5 thumbs.
February 28th, 2012 at 12:47 pm
nice…i love how you take your time and build this…the watershed down the hands…the feather in the hair…great touches on the way to a breathtaking close
February 28th, 2012 at 2:47 pm
recognizing the color of hunger…oh i so can feel this..what a wonderful capture..
February 28th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Love the closing couplet…also, “shadow of white on white”. Beautiful poetry!!!
February 28th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
The color of hunger, wow. You’ve actually made me a bit hungry, tho I ate lunch an hour ago.
What a prefect snippet of your life observations, as always.
xo
February 28th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
* sigh *
February 28th, 2012 at 3:48 pm
absolutely nothing mediochre about this beautifully crafted poem. just a real pleasure to read out loud. Thankyou.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Awww… seems so lovely to think of flight but then, left hungry for… something and discovering the black feather has a pretty ominous touch too.
Lovely, evocative piece.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
“sun glinting off wings built for shores less frozen”
*sigh*
I would love to sit and watch seagulls fly.
February 28th, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Wow, simply beautiful… recognizing the color of hunger.. gee
February 28th, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Simply beautiful ~ well, stunningly complex, actually but the list of your wonderful poem captured me & then left me looking up for feathers. Perhaps some metaphors (& their interpretations) are better left alone as we ‘stay in the moment’ & follow our more basics needs … such as ‘the colour of hunger’: an incredible final line to a captivating poem.
February 28th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Loved this–great metaphor–great end
February 28th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Your finish is PURE BRILLIANCE!!! Love the imagery, but your final couplet just pulls it all into one powerful punch. Well wrote says me (and maybe one day, that might mean something! lol) Happy OpenLinkNight!
February 28th, 2012 at 5:42 pm
love the struggle in this piece…
“into a watershed running through my fingers
down over my toes and i thought that perhaps
i had imagined that shadow of white on white,”
I can see this so clearly…
February 28th, 2012 at 5:54 pm
‘at that perfect, beautiful moment when
i recognized the color of hunger.’
Sigh.. in my happy place where I go when I read your words 🙂
February 28th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Ooo-wee, is this a home run! Gotta echo Natasha – bril, just bril.
You had a great poem in the first stanza- if you’d quit there, it’d be strong. Following through to the end, it became masterful!
(green w/ envy) – your pal Mosk
February 28th, 2012 at 7:19 pm
A great capture!
February 28th, 2012 at 8:00 pm
you captured the feeling of this experience very well. my favorite part has to be the discussion on the metaphor. very nice job. Thanks
February 28th, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Beautiful word painting. Love that last line.
February 28th, 2012 at 10:15 pm
nice painting of a moment
February 29th, 2012 at 8:09 am
Delicious.
February 29th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
This made me smile. I really enjoyed it.
February 29th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
A studious and thoughtfully measured monochrome poem that burns in the final couplet….I love the feel of the whole thing
February 29th, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Exquisite. Absolutely perfect.
March 1st, 2012 at 5:13 am
raven’s feather, icy shore… you have set such a chilling scene. Much enjoyed
March 1st, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Delicious write!
Anna :o]