thin
in my sleep i can skate to the other side
…………artfully missing all the weak spots
…………gliding smoothly in arcs and swashes
…………………but in the light of day i lie on my belly
…………………………….scoot my way across the thinnest places
………………………the ones where i can see bottom and
…………words wave up at me, asking to be rescued
…………or at least remembered (even willing to be
………………………….used) but this ice
…………………………………refuses to shatter
…………………or split
……………………..or splinter and
…………………i have no opening
…………all i can do is watch as phrase and dangling
…………………….participle sink down into mud
…………to be eaten later by hungry catfish, or
………………………occasionally
………………..disintegrating before my eyes
………………………………letters break off
…………………………………………..and slowly
…………………………………..begin
……………….their ascent to the surface
……………………..spelling words i hadn’t thought of
…………………………………that stick
……………..………………to the underside
…………………………………….of this cold glass sheet
………………………………………………….teasing me
………………….………….……………taunting me
………………………………..i can see them,
……………………………hear them,
…………………………………spell them out on
…………………………………….my tongue
…………… ……………but they remain
……………………………………………………..out of reach
………………………begging
……………………………for warmth as i
…………………………………….press my cheek to the ice
………………………………………………………shivering
.
February 7th, 2012 at 8:12 am
brrrrr….i feel my tongue stuck on the ice for no words of praise will thaw. trust that i loved this verse and the photo even more.
February 7th, 2012 at 9:37 am
i felt this, felt the frustration and felt myself squinting to make out those disappearing words – damn them! will they still be there when the ice begins to break?
this is a genius bit of writing.
February 7th, 2012 at 10:16 am
beautifully written. I had one of those Monday mornings when frustration runs high as projects implode. You put the feeling into words. Thanks
February 7th, 2012 at 11:38 am
Wow, what a creative metaphor ! You’re really great. 😀
February 7th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
amazing writing as always…..but oh now i have the shivers 🙂
xo
February 7th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
oh how they do tease and taunt. I love… “waiting to be rescued”
you are amazing and inspire me to pick up my pen and try again. thank you.
my offering
http://kellieelmore.com/2012/02/02/in-the-haze-of-knowing/
February 7th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
This was great – bears repeated readings – loved how writing and being on thin ice are linked.
February 7th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Wow Kelly, you continue to amaze me with your words. Love the imagery this conveys . . . so beautifully written.
February 7th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
The just-out-of-reachness of the thing ably caught… Also a sense of the intrepid explorer. I like.
February 7th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Wow giving me chills, as cold does not bring thrills. But great write indeed and yeah sometimes we have to weave around the thin ice.
February 7th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
What a great metaphor. I really enjoyed how in your sleep ( or when away from the writing pad) words come to easily- like you can see them- you can see the structure- and it’s perfect. But then when it comes down to it- it can be so difficult, so fragile- so easy to cut words out, throw them away. This poem perfectly summed up my day actually! Trying to get my idea down that in my head would be perfect- but in reality- it was like tiptoeing over thin ice. It took a long time to reach the other side. Well done. 🙂
February 7th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
yes..it can be like that…thin ice…love all the images you use here…eaten by catfish…the words just out of reach…but somehow…seems you made it to the other side…smiles
February 7th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
This poem is (apart from being beautiful) so topical for me today, only earlier was talking to Joe Hesch about poems/words that skip past us. He pointed me towards his first poem on his blog about just that.
This one is a good deal colder, but equally wonderful in how it describes the ones that remain tantilizingly out of reach!
Thanks for sharing again 🙂
February 7th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
The ending is particularly strong.
February 7th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
oh heck…very nice…great form as well as it mirrors your words and works well with them…i guess the catfish are lucky to get your words then…smiles…no i understand this journey but you brought it in such a fresh way…
February 7th, 2012 at 5:06 pm
It’s always easier in my dreams, too. Bravo for another masterpiece.
February 7th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
This was beautiful, I love the imagery.
February 7th, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Wonderful write!! Just gorgeous writing!
February 7th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I love your form here. Really packs a punch. =)
February 7th, 2012 at 6:27 pm
Beautiful….i can see them ..hear them,
spell them out on…my tongue…but they remain
out of reach
love it!
February 7th, 2012 at 6:52 pm
“but in the light of day i lie on my belly
…………scoot my way across the thinnest places” oh I can relate to this on so many levels!
February 7th, 2012 at 8:53 pm
A special kind of misery, isn’t it? Gorgeous writing.
February 7th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Oh my god, I love this! What an awesome metaphor.
February 7th, 2012 at 10:57 pm
Writing on thin ice – quite a rock’n roll metaphor. Trying to grab that fresh one just out of reach. Mind just not giving up the clues where to seek in the thesaurus of the river running just underneath. Nice. Really well written and apt. Loved it.
February 8th, 2012 at 1:31 am
I can relate, too! …and brrr, now I need a jacket. Great imagery, I could feel the icy lake on my cheek as I was reading.
February 8th, 2012 at 3:15 am
I love the ethereal quality of this poem. It is fragile and beautiful as a sheet of ice.
February 8th, 2012 at 7:32 am
Oh..this sends shivers down my spine. I am so there with you ‘in that light of day’!!!
February 8th, 2012 at 8:39 am
Gorgeous, just gorgeous. This made my skin crawl (even more than it does normally now from the stupid cold I have acquired). I must see more of your work…
This was amazing. The imagery just… wow.
I definitely feel the frustration.
February 8th, 2012 at 10:46 am
enjoyed how you played with this metaphor, lovely write! ~ Rose
February 8th, 2012 at 11:44 am
That is quite a trip to the pond….. You’ve trapped my heart under the ice with you, Mrs. Mediocrity!!!
February 8th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Wow! That was amazing, you swept me away with the imagery.
Everything from the graphological style of the poem to the delicacy of the words chosen really support the message.
Again…wow.
I found you on Open Link Night. I would love for you to take a look at my OLN entry.
February 8th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Lovely image you depict with your search of words in a thin freezinf layer.
Lovely Mrs!
February 8th, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Nothing mediocre here and I think you know it… wonderfully formatted to give the theme real liftoff, and many sparkling lines/phrases. ‘arcs and swashes’ comes to mind…
February 9th, 2012 at 12:35 am
you put your reader into subzero mode searching for a warm, dry muse…
February 9th, 2012 at 10:47 am
haha, fantastic!
it’s such a giggly feeling I get – like a rush when words play.
wonder if the tongue sticks to the ice…
February 14th, 2012 at 2:23 am
You are such an incredible writer! Not only do I love the words, but also how you structured them…perfect.
And that image… so striking!
March 2nd, 2012 at 5:23 pm
this is beyond beautiful poetry – formidable, yet gently welcoming at he same time. My heart aches, my brain freezes – I have been on that skid, not sure where I will end up, not able to trust…
and you wonder, which is the dream? and you ask for some time…
Kelly, I applaud, I celebrate your poetry – Your poetry deserves to be offered, to be taught – helping to open a world – come gather your gifts.