what i want to know is
is it okay that i’m not trying to change the world?
that most days i’m content just to change my pajamas
and that most months, most years
i consider myself lucky to have made it this far
because it’s all so damn complicated
and
is it okay that all i really have are questions
all i’ve ever had are questions and that i get sick
and tired of hearing all those answers being shouted
from other people’s rooftops when i know they are
in just as much danger of slipping off as i am
and
is it okay that some nights i can’t sleep
because the walls can’t hold all the things
in my heart and my hands scribble scrabble
in a vain attempt t0 clean up all my messes,
knitting words that never see the light of day
and
is it okay that i don’t need to be fixed
because surely i’m not broken, i’ve seen broken
and my soul is nobody’s business but my own
in fact it’s whole and beautiful even if it is
lined with purple shadows of doubt
and
is it okay that some nights i just want to sit
by the fire with a book in my hands
that takes me anywhere but here and it’s not
because i need to escape my life
it’s just that some days i’m tired
and
i just don’t feel like changing the world,
some days i just want to be in it
up to my neck like quicksand in it
feeling it squish between my toes
and dragging me down down down
before i float away?
.
January 31st, 2012 at 8:09 am
“and my soul is nobody’s business but my own”.
i especially love that part about the soul. because really, haven’t we allowed people to believe the quality of our souls is their business? haven’t we not stood up for ourselves? we are taking that allowing back. and being our own final authority. at last.
this is exquisite. xo
January 31st, 2012 at 9:37 am
. . . . it’s ok. :0)
January 31st, 2012 at 9:41 am
wowee. girl! the same line jumped out at me – my soul is nobody’s business but my own. wow. you got that right.
i kinda swallowed these words and can feel them bouncing around inside me, in a very good way. medicine for MY soul. reassurance.
it is more than okay to see the truth, you know.
i am DANCING to this this morning.
January 31st, 2012 at 9:43 am
simmer down mrs.m
January 31st, 2012 at 9:58 am
Your frantic rhythm completely captures the rush of thoughts and doubts in the dark of sleepless nights. This mirrors me; mirrors most of us, I would guess, so we will all sit by the fire together; unbroken, surely.
January 31st, 2012 at 10:44 am
Lately I’ve been thinking that everything I pick up to read is trying to fix me. From magazines to the internet, everything wants to make me better, more, greater. Isn’t it ok to just ‘be’ sometimes?
You’re so eloquent with your words. You say it all very well.
~FringeGirl
January 31st, 2012 at 12:20 pm
it’s perfectly okay…..xoxoo
January 31st, 2012 at 1:25 pm
nah i think that is ok…some days just being in it helps you to appreciate it all the more…and pajamas are pretty comfortable anyway…smiles. really nice flow in this…
January 31st, 2012 at 3:07 pm
It’s Ok my dear, it IS … Being in this world and just living one’s life is so difficult so often unbearable… but eventually there are times when reading that book is ok, and it’s ok to get back to the self and be grateful and smile and accept- that’s what I do..
Love your words Mrs- I really do
😉
January 31st, 2012 at 3:08 pm
It’s better than ok…it’s how it is…and it’s just right. Good one.:-)
January 31st, 2012 at 3:26 pm
that’s the problem about religions, they want to save your soul, they want to teach you spirituality, but how can anyone save someone else’s soul, or teach someone else about their own spirit?
January 31st, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I think some days it is okay, though I think a life of endless days in pajamas, reading a book, not caring if we changed the world would get old and boring. But some days . . . yeah, it’s okay. Peace, Linda
January 31st, 2012 at 3:35 pm
oh yes…some days i’m even too tired to change my payamas… and i feel too small to ever make a difference… and i think it’s ok… love the honesty in this…felt..
January 31st, 2012 at 3:37 pm
yes… it is okay… I think we all have felt like that… yeah, you wanna make a difference, but sometimes you don’t want that weight; you just want carefree joy & peace… fantastic write!
January 31st, 2012 at 3:43 pm
This has to be one of the most honest pieces i’ve read in a long time. It really spoke to me- I totally related to to it. Talks to me so strongly about the human condition- how we’re all seeking answers, how some people are quick to give advice, but that ultimately we are all human and have travel the same painful paths. And that it’s ok – its ok to just travel and enjoy the journey and all it’s imperfections. Great stuff
January 31st, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Yup …. it’s okay … in fact your words echo mine right now….
January 31st, 2012 at 3:56 pm
WOW. Elegantly worded! LOVE these lines: “my soul is nobody’s business but my own
in fact it’s whole and beautiful even if it is
lined with purple shadows of doubt”
January 31st, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I really love this poem!
It is one of those, THAT’S ME!!! Moments as I read it.
Thanks for sharing, its like looking inside 🙂
January 31st, 2012 at 4:25 pm
This was so good – a powerful quietly defiant work with which I can completely empathize. I really loved this. Yes, there is a world of things that need to be done, repairs that need to be made and art that needs to be born… but in the meantime, enjoy some of it.
I’m glad these words saw the light of day,
an admirer, Mosk
January 31st, 2012 at 4:38 pm
thanks .. beautifully written~
January 31st, 2012 at 4:55 pm
It’s okay 🙂 nicely penned 😉
January 31st, 2012 at 5:03 pm
I hope its ok–because I think a bunch of us feel that way–Loved this piece!
January 31st, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Powerful poem. The second stanza really resonates with me, and these fantastic lines:
“soul is nobody’s business but my own
in fact it’s whole and beautiful even if it is
lined with purple shadows of doubt”.
Thanks for sharing.
January 31st, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Really liked this one. Sometimes one feels like one has to do something great, and that pressure on oneself. And another that just says, I just want to live in it. Thanks for this insightful write.
January 31st, 2012 at 6:28 pm
Love the quiet defiance of this poem.
January 31st, 2012 at 6:36 pm
You bet your sweet bippy, it’s OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 31st, 2012 at 7:34 pm
Some days I’m just lazy and walk around in my underwear, tmi?..lol
Yeah think we all have those days, as long as you don’t get gobbled up by the quicksand then when you want go ahead and make a stand.
January 31st, 2012 at 8:33 pm
It is o.k. til you run out of pajamas. Seriously, sometimes all we need is to pour a warm ballad and drink any story but our own, eh?
January 31st, 2012 at 9:52 pm
It is okay, and your saying so in such an eloquent way makes it even more okay. I like the lightly querulous tone in the poem, balanced by a subtle irony and humor. The consciousness of your foibles lets us know that your words, though light to read, are not lightly weighed.
January 31st, 2012 at 10:05 pm
is it okay that i feel the same way right now … to the point of tears… tears that have been held in for days and as I read this i just busted… I feel kinda pathetic that I am crying so hard…
it’s okay that you don’t want to save the world
to me at least…
your poem was raw and beautiful!!!
~L
January 31st, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Somedays are meant to be pyjama days. Somedays are all about being on the beach all day even after dark. We write our own story.
February 1st, 2012 at 5:53 am
“is it okay that i don’t need to be fixed
because surely i’m not broken, i’ve seen broken
and my soul is nobody’s business but my own
in fact it’s whole and beautiful even if it is
lined with purple shadows of doubt”
This is so good. Well the whole post is talking to me 🙂 I’ll take this with me…
February 1st, 2012 at 5:57 am
I think it is more than OK. I think it is beautiful.
February 1st, 2012 at 11:01 am
Yes! I feel that way sometimes, exactly that way. Good capture of that.
February 1st, 2012 at 12:12 pm
This is exquisite.
February 1st, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Loved this! So open and honest…and yes, definitely-it is okay. I felt as though you were inside my head!
February 1st, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Wow, this is beautiful and yes, it’s perfectly OK to not change the world 🙂 I love nothing more than staying at home in my pyjamas doing nothing for the day.
February 1st, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Yes — on all accounts. It’s perfectly okay.
February 1st, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Wow, I am blown away by this. So brilliant and beautiful.
February 1st, 2012 at 11:16 pm
It IS all very okay. And more. You owe the world nothing but your own contentment to read books by firelight, or do as you wish. And I think people who are happy in their days DO change the world with their energy of peace!
xo
February 3rd, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Finally … someone has put into words how I feel. Yep, it’s ok.
February 9th, 2012 at 10:51 am
OOO, good stuff. Enjoyed this, enjoyed the ride, enjoyed the picture.
Good blog.