five things…
{reverb11 – day 28}
::
Take today to jot down five memories that
you would like to never forget about 2011
::
one.
two days after george died, i walked outside looking for his naughty kitten brother, late, in the dark. i picked a pink flower from the cosmo plant standing tall in the night and made my way down the driveway to the spot where we found him. i found it easily, although i could see nothing. the stone we placed as his marker somehow reflected just enough light to guide me to it. i stood there, crying in the black warmth that is a july night and bent down to place a single bloom on the darkest spot, the stain of his blood. i stood there and let the breeze play over my bare legs, listening. holding my breath. hoping. of course, he was not there, and i do not believe in ghosts. when i turned to go back inside, there were fireflies everywhere, dancing in the darkness like stars.
two.
i ran the uphill half of my path and it was a good run, i felt strong and sated, alive and oh so happy to be running again. it was a warm day, warmer than it should have been in autumn, but those have always been my favorite running conditions, and this day was almost perfect. no one else was on the path, it was me and the trees and the sun and the rhythmic sound of my own breath filled my head with a meditative calm. dappled shade, bright light, dappled shade, the pattern of my steps, the counting off of miles, the sweat that glistened as it washed away the stress. when i stopped to cool down and walk the last half mile, i heard a bird call that i recognized somewhere in the recesses of my mind, but at first, could not exactly place. And then i saw one, and then another, and then a flock. cedar waxwings, perched on branches like so many leaves. i kept walking quietly, smiling loudly.
three.
an august afternoon in which i played hooky, sneaking out to sit in the sun with a book and a glass of wine, a journal and a pencil, words flying off my fingers like sparks. then sitting quietly, the sun on my face, birds chirping in the background, red-winged blackbirds especially, complaining of my presence. hot, hot sun, flowers everywhere, bugs and beetles and dragonflies buzzing all around, bare feet and the trickle of sweat. time hung in the air with nowhere to go, no place to be but there, in that moment, absorbing light and sound and heat and just a tiny bit of memory from carefree childhood summers.
four.
a winter that would not end, hibernation becoming stir-crazy, cabin fever becoming nothing but the desire to feel the sun upon my skin. darkness that became too dark, all promises of light, broken. snow that piled on top of snow, no longer pretty and glittery and wondrous, just heavy and grey. grey on grey on grey. endless days of grey. days that turned to weeks and then months. the lack of contrast is what drives you mad.
five.
an almost invisible shift in the night. hours spent with eyes wide open, the moon rap-tapping on dirty panes, a signal to the loneliness that is driven by insomnia. sighs and repositioning, sighs and thoughts of getting out of bed to do something, anything, at least write. imaginary whispers that say nothing, but keep me straining to hear. words that walk their way down empty hallways, peeking through keyholes, checking for just the right fit. this room is filled with sounds of love. this room is filled with heartbeats and the echoes of sobs. this room has stories of its own to tell. this room is more awake than i am.
::
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December 28th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Sigh. I love this x 5.
December 28th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I love this prompt. I haven’t used any of the #resound prompts yet, but I’m totally going to use this one!
Your writing is exquisite. Your words so beautifully capture your memories.
Thank you for sharing. 🙂
December 28th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
You are such a wonderful writer! Beautiful!
December 28th, 2011 at 10:44 pm
endless days of grey on grey, turning into weeks and then months. the lack of contrast is what drives you mad….
this entire entry is stunningly beautiful. the last 3 sentences of 5 cause me to sit up straight. they could be my words. they are my thoughts. they were all of that to me.
it is winter. for four more months. grey on grey.
December 29th, 2011 at 12:27 am
oh. wow. I can’t write after reading this. I want to sleep listening to these beautiful words.
December 29th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
You have a way of making even the harder and darker moments sound magical! Beautiful!
December 29th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Too much to read in one sitting, I had to walk with it a while, letting each vignette warm me like wool, until I was ready to sit with the next scene. I remember these days from the first time, you wrote of them, but here, months later, your memory and words are as clear and fresh as the moment. Stunning.
December 29th, 2011 at 7:03 pm
I wish I could write with as much vision and soul as you provide. I also wish to give you a hug. And maybe drink tea fireside and share stories all night.
December 29th, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Oh my … I’m not sure I have the appropriate words to say how much I love this post today. I think it may be one of the best of yours that I have enjoyed!
I’ve enjoyed my year with you and wishing you the best of what the new year will bring!
December 30th, 2011 at 12:15 am
one. you gave me goosebumps.
two. “thou art everywhere, but i worship thee here”. the universe gives us gifts.
three. the best kind of day. i bet words WERE flying off your fingers like sparks.
four. i can only imagine.
five. more goosebumps. my god.
December 30th, 2011 at 11:02 am
I can see why this was one of your favorite posts, it is beautiful and vivid. I can see the tears as you say goodbye to your lost animal. I can hear the birds as you walk off the run. This is beautiful.
January 24th, 2012 at 3:20 am
yes. what debi said.