blue on blue
Okay, so clearly, I am in a rut.
And if I keep walking in it, I will only make it deeper.
I need to gather myself and jump up and out, up over that edge I can barely reach.
The thing is, I’m very clumsy and I’m probably going to slide back in, several times.
So I keep waiting. First I say I will try it after I do this thing, and then I think I will wait and do it after that thing, or when I am here, or after I’m done with this.
This is how the days keep getting past me.
See? I’m actually starting to figure a couple of things out. I have to stop waiting. For anything. Waiting just adds to the problem. I need to be climbing, scrambling, building a ladder, planting trees, or digging steps in the sides of this cave.
Something.
And I need to look up. I keep forgetting that part. Well, hey, it’s slippery in winter, you need to watch where you are going so you don’t fall down.
But what if I do fall down?
Is that the question?
January 21st, 2011 at 9:13 am
If you fall down, you get right back up!
Jump!
xo Susie
ps That wasn’t “jump” as in off a building or anything! That was “jump” as in jump out of the rut.
January 21st, 2011 at 9:13 am
You are figuring it out and helping us while you’re at it. Love you.
January 21st, 2011 at 10:40 am
It’s always the question, isn’t it? And we always do, don’t we? And here’s what I think. I think we don’t mind so much if ain’t nobody watching – oh, we cuss a bit and complain, but we get back up and go on or else we pay attention to ourselves which are saying hey, just take a breather, pant, pant, gasp, pant. BUT. we look out there and damn, if ain’t everybody else not only moving, they’re jumping, and we’re just grasping and gasping and then we begin to feel how come not me too?
in which this answer to you gives me my blog for today. in the meantime, i think ruts wake us up, i think they serve a very useful purpose, just like those grooves on the shoulder of a highway, waking us up if we veer off too far. and just like those grooves are telling us maybe we need to slow down or maybe we need to find a room and get some sleep, so do ruts tell us something. yours already is. it won’t be long and you’ll be out.
i don’t want you breaking anything, and it IS slippery put there.
January 21st, 2011 at 11:22 am
Winter ruts are the worst; the ice is cold, hard, sharp. Still, if you wait, you will freeze solid; no getting anywhere then.
Thanks for always making us think a little deeper thought that makes our rut a little less deep.
January 21st, 2011 at 11:32 am
Today was the day where I started trying to climb out of the rut . . . I got the news last night that I’ve been accepted into a craft show at the beginning of March and it sent me into a tailspin of panic. Just the kind of jolt I needed. Not sure how long it will last but today is the first day in a long time that I’ve felt productive.
January 21st, 2011 at 12:23 pm
GET OUTA THAT HOLE, BACK UP ON THE STREET.
Sorry if it sounds like I’m shouting. But those lyrics came into my head while I was reading this.
It’s so hard to be a saint in the city.
January 21st, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Life is a process of patterns. We do the “same” thing 97 different ways, then it’s integrated, & “gone”. Then…a new pattern. It’s all good. Just don’t react inside as much as is humanly possible. <3
January 21st, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Hm… “building a ladder”- you may have just inspired a new art piece…
I feel ya’, mrs. m; january makes it so hard to resist hibernating. Maybe we should just embrace the rut. You know, “own it”. Then, in spring, the planting can begin again, and with greater purpose. Sending you warm love!
January 21st, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Yes.. what then?
I’ve been asking myself the same questions because I fall down… a lot.
Thank you for being here!
January 21st, 2011 at 4:55 pm
the last two lines I think are very interesting because it’s one technique that pretty much every coach, therapist, mentor, etc uses. “OK, so lets say you DO fall/lose/fail/etc? What would happen?” When we’re forced to actually examine that which we fear we often find the fear is utterly irrational. We all know on some level that most fear is irrational but actually examining “it” brings that forward to a conscious level and I think evacuates much of the power that the fear holds over us.
January 21st, 2011 at 5:08 pm
sometimes a rut is a routine in disguise…..
and sometimes a rut is truly a rut that needs to be filled up so that you get pushed out of your comfort zone…..
don’t fall though…..keep your head up and let’s just all admit that winter sucks and helps make those damn ruts in the first place…..
i know you’ll be moving on soon…..and the sun will come out tomorrow!
January 21st, 2011 at 5:40 pm
The good thing is, once you’re down, there’s no where to go but UP! I’ve learned I have to trick myself by not letting myself think about what I need to do – I just do it. If I start thinking, oh, man, I’m in trouble. I can talk myself out of anything! Good luck with your hole – there are a lot of us in our own out here!
January 21st, 2011 at 7:17 pm
You’ll get back up of course, stronger than before , wiser than before, because as they say ” you can’t keep a good woman down 🙂 🙂
January 21st, 2011 at 7:57 pm
that damn proverbial leaf needs turning again.
January 21st, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Oh yes, I’ve been there, so often. The strange thing is that waiting actually does work for me–at least when the rut I’m in is creative in nature. A real-life rut is something else entirely, but when I hit writer’s block or a hitch in my art, I’ve discovered that the best thing I can do is to walk away for days, even weeks at a time. I used to try to fight my way through it, and it never worked and was stressful to boot. Now if only I could figure out how to apply the same principle to the rest of my life…
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:33 am
It’s not the falling that’s the fear..it’s the picking yourself back up after the fall..and putting the pieces back together. But then – think how much stronger you’ll be for it..after you do?!?!?
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:34 pm
This post describes the wintertime grind so perfectly. You’re not the only one who feels it. I keep going back to my #reverb posts to remind myself of all the things I want to do. And then I tell myself that they will get done, and that they don’t have to all get done today. Hang in there!!
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Hello there! I’ve been following your blog since #reverb10 and have appreciated your words and insights since.
Because of that, I’d like to share a note I received on my blog regarding the Stylish Blogger Award. It’s like a fun game of internet-tag-blogger-awesomeness, and I wanted to share it with you. (I will NOT be offended if you don’t follow all the steps below or don’t participate, it just made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, so I wanted to share it with you and let you know how much I enjoy your writing!)
Here are the details:
Recently I got a surprise… I got a stylish blogger award. I am passing it on to you because I love your blog and want to get it read by even more people. See my recent post for the list with your blog on it!
So here are the rules for acceptance of the award:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.
There is a button that goes with the award. Click on mine and copy the properties into your own blog. (My post is here: http://dancingwaves.dreamwidth.org/28204.html).
Thank you for your insights and beautiful writing.
Stephanie
January 24th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
sugar, waiting is not our friend.
January 25th, 2011 at 12:50 am
“This is how the days keep getting past me.” this i know very well, and it’s quite scary how quickly the days can rush by, into weeks, months. and you think, what am i achieving here…zip. writing actually got me out of it, photography didn’t…was feeling totally dull image-wise. i hate that treadmill feeling, somewhat there now…except off to the UK end of this week and that will definitely throw me into a different mind-set, i hope 🙂