this is my brain on pain
flashing light, blinding flare, this glare that burns. migraine.
pounding, pounding, peck peck pecking away at my sanity.
pain that will not stop, does not cower, will not leave.
pain uninvited, not wanted, not welcome, yet here.
my head in a vice grip. won’t let go.
pain that leaves me wasted, limp, sore,
run over. paralyzed.
i lay on the couch, afraid to move.
i watch from a tiny pinhole of awareness.
i am still, so still, any movement excruciating.
quiet light burns holes in my retina.
tiny sounds detonate bombs in my brain.
i wait and i wait and i think and i think. and i wait.
there is nothing else to do.
it is minutiae, amplified, one million times.
it is crushing fever, knife pain, white hot.
it is brutality, unleashed in my skull.
and then it is gone.
an ugly memory.
.
visit imperfect prose on thursdays, here
August 12th, 2010 at 8:14 am
i read this with my arms folded across my chest, my eyes narrowed against the harsh light coming from these words. leaning away from the computer. i cannot imagine. xoxo
August 12th, 2010 at 10:14 am
Oh sweetheart . . . I suffer with crazy migraines and know all too well how excruciatingly painful they can be. Hope it passes soon. Hugs.
August 12th, 2010 at 10:24 am
You ‘nailed’ a migraine perfectly. No one can fully appreciate how a migraine incapicates you, until he/she experiences one. I’ve been there—not fun.
August 12th, 2010 at 10:31 am
Oh, Kelly, I am sorry that you have to deal w/ migraines, but this picture is spot on, & the written piece is the most perfect (&, oddly beautiful) description I’ve ever seen or heard.
Hope all the residuals are gone today & you are feeling wonderful again!
August 12th, 2010 at 11:09 am
oh friend… i felt your pain. only i know i didn’t, because it’s so much worse than i can imagine… my husband gets these, and they knock him cold for a day or two. i’m so sorry you get them too.. you write about it with such raw beauty though. thank you for linking today. i love the photo…
August 12th, 2010 at 11:09 am
Oh, I would take it from you if I could…
August 12th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I’m so sorry. I’ve only had two migraines in my life, but they were enough to give me a glimpse of the suffering you and so many live with. Your pain evoked so well(?) in words gives me gratitude for what I take for granted and compels me to pray for those who suffer. Thank you.
August 12th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
I have never had a migraine, but between my own brand of debilitating pain and your stark, vivid description, I can empathize very well, I think. But of course I have no idea what to say, because it is not the type of thing that one can soothe with words or hugs or well wishes. But know that you have all those things anyway, from the bottom of my heart.
August 12th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
i am so glad i have never suffered from migraines. i can’t even imagine.
August 12th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
i can relate to this… having suffered migraines as a child.
August 12th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes…just that helps.
August 13th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
You’ve painted a visual for the pain you’re feeling with your words. Extraordinary!! And – I hope you’re feeling better…
August 13th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
the most beautiful, love-filled hands, with gentle strength, cradle your head. they send amethyst light flowing into your brain. they hold you and hold you until the little girl is soothed and remembers she is worthy and loved and perfectly perfect just as she is.
xo
August 14th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
i have suffered for years with these nasty little buggers….
do you have a prescription you take ?
actually, the acupuncturist has helped me the most 🙂
August 16th, 2010 at 9:13 am
Oh my! You did a great job of sharing the visual of a migraine! I haven’t had one in ages and would be happy to keep it that way. Hoping by now you’re feeling better.
August 19th, 2010 at 5:15 am
okay, i’ll say it: that’s the kind of thing i’d wish on a short list of others . . . but never on you.